Auggie and a new life in the dark
by Mariposa68
Summary: Auggie learns that he has lost his sight and is trying to adapt to a life in darkness.
1. Chapter 1

Auggie opened his eyes. He tried to move but upon the slightest movement his head hurt like hell and it was dark. He had no idea where he was and how long he had been there. His fingers slowly slid across the blanket and then he felt an IV in his left arm. Presumably he was in a hospital. But why? And then he remembered the explosion. "Hello, Hello…!" He called and a minute later a door opened and he heard footsteps coming closer. "Captain Anderson?" a female voice said "Welcome back Captain Anderson!"

Auggie was confused. Where did the voice come from and why was it still dark?. Auggie tugged on the gauze patches that covered his eyes. He could not see and that scared him. He had to get rid of those patches as soon as possible. "Who are you and where am I?" Auggie asked, his voice still a bit hoarse from the breathing hose he had been depending on for the last 3 days and which had been removed in the morning. "You are in the military hospital Captain Anderson" the young voice said "And my name is Nurse Sarah." Auggie tried to turn his head into the direction of the voice but another wave of pain washed over him. "Why do I have to wear these eye patches? I cannot see and that makes me feel uncomfortable." Auggie asked. The young nurse did not respond. Instead she made her way to the door and said "I ´ll be back with Doctor Hanson in a minute" and then Auggie heard her leave the room and close the door behind her. Now Auggie was worried. He remembered the explosion. But what had happened to him, that he had to wear eye patches? There was nothing more scary than being in the dark all the time. He wanted to see where he was and who he was talking to.

About five minutes later, the nurse returned with the doctor. "Hello Captain Anderson, my name is Dr. Hanson. How do you feel?" Auggie listened to the new voice in the room and said. "My head hurts like hell but other than that I am fine. I just would like to know why I have to wear these eye patches. "The doctor made a few steps towards Auggie´s bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked at Auggie and said "Mr. Anderson the accident and the explosion have caused a cranial swelling and there were tiny pieces of metal in your eyes but we have removed them successfully. "When will I see again?" Auggie interrupted the doctor. The doctor hesitated a bit and then he continued "Mr. Anderson the cranial swelling has also destroyed your optic nerve. I am very sorry to tell you that you are blind from now on".

Auggie could not believe what he had just heard. BLIND? No, that could not be. He was not blind. Things like that happened to other people but not to him. "You must be kidding" Auggie said and tried not to scream or shout at the doctor. He could hardly contain himself. "Yes blind" the doctor repeated. "I am awfully sorry, we did our utmost to help you, but there is nothing more we can do. In a few weeks you will be released and I will arrange for a place in a rehab centre for you. There, you will learn how to get around as a blind person. Sooner or later, you will regain your independence….or at least a part of it." Now Auggie got furious "I do not have to regain anything! I AM INDEPENDENT and I AM NOT BLIND!" He shouted at the doctor and with his right hand the tugged at the patches and ripped them off in a violent move. Now that the patches were off, he realized that he really could not see. He panicked and screamed NOOOO…..! The nurse and the doctor exchanged glances and then the nurse disappeared. Shortly after, she returned with a syringe and injected the content into the IV. That will help you to calm down the doctor said and stood. Five minutes later Auggie got tired and finally drifted off to sleep.

Auggie had no idea how long he had slept. He woke up and again he was greeted by nothing but darkness when he opened his eyes. He was so scared. How should he live his life, when this life was nothing but a dark tunnel with no way out to escape? Fifteen minutes later, another nurse appeared with a tray in her hand. She set the tray on the nightstand and informed Auggie "Tea at 2 ´o clock, salad at 6 and toast at 12. "Pardon me?" Auggie was confused and then the nurse replied "Referring to the clock, it will be easier to find the food on your tray." "Okay" Auggie said and then he slowly felt for the plate, the napkin and the cutlery on the tray. "Do you want me to help you?" The nurse asked.

"No" Auggie said. He could not see, but after all, he was not a kid that could not eat alone. The nurse left the room and Auggie started to eat. It was frustrating not to be able to see what was on the plate. He almost spilled the tea, when he hit the plate with the bottom of the cup in an attempt to put the cup back onto the tray. The cheese toast was good and even the salad was delicious. He was really hungry. However, a couple of times the salad fell of his fork before it had reached his mouth. Eating blind was not easy and it was only the beginning of everything he had to learn and to re-learn.

3 weeks later

"Welcome Mr. Anderson" a voice said. Auggie had left the military hospital and the ambulance had brought him to a rehabilitation centre for the blind. He had started to get used to the darkness that surrounded him but he was still reluctant to follow the doctor´s advice and to attend rehabilitation class in daily living skills, Braille and orientation and mobility. He was still scared and he was not convinced that he was in the right place. The voice Auggie had just heard belonged to Emily one of the instructors of the centre.

"Do you want to take my arm, so that I can show you to your room?" Emily offered and Auggie grabbed her arm above the elbow and followed her. After a few steps he asked "Could you please slow down a little? I am still somewhat exhausted after spending so much time in a hospital bed." "Sure." Emily walked with slower paces so that Auggie could follow her more easily. It was so strange for him to feel tired and exhausted. After all he was a soldier and he was used to spending a lot of time at the gym or on the football field. After two minutes Emily opened the door to a room. She put Auggie´s hand on the back of a chair so that he could sit down and took a seat on the other chair in the room. "How do you feel?" she asked "I don´t know" Auggie was still unsure if he was in the right place. And then he added "What if the doctors are wrong and I will see again soon? I would be wasting my time here for nothing." Emily looked at Auggie and said "I am sorry to tell you that, but that the doctor sent you here, is a clear indication that your visual disability is permanent. We do not accept patients with a temporary condition here". Auggie swallowed and turned his head towards the window to hide his emotions. He could feel the warm sunlight on his face. He could feel the sun but he could not see it. "I would like to show you the room now." Emily said and Auggie turned again towards her voice. "Ok, I am ready." he answered. Again he took Emily´s arm and she showed him around. Then he counted: Three steps from the chair to the bed, five steps from the bed to the closet, six steps from the bed to the bathroom and ten steps from the bed to the door. Auggie tried to memorize all that and felt pure despair. What if he could not learn all these things they wanted to teach him here? To be blind meant to memorize things as exactly as possible, it meant to count steps all the time, it meant to be neatly organized and it meant to be able to accept help. And exactly here was his problem. Captain August Anderson was not used to asking for help. He was a leader, he was the one in charge to tell others what to do. And now he was blind and helpless. At least this was how he had felt for the last three weeks.

The next day

Auggie had finished breakfast. His first night at the rehabilitation facility had been pretty sleepless. So much was going on in his head and even in his dreams he dealt with everything that was expecting him. In his dreams he heard thousands of voices around him but the faces remained invisible. He dreamt of running through long dark corridors in an endless attempt to find a way out. A pure nightmare.

Seconds later, he heard a knock on the door and then Emily stood next to him. "Good morning Mr. Anderson. How was your night?" Auggie got up from the bed and made his way to the chair by the window. "I could not sleep" he confessed. "Happens to everyone." Emily answered. "The first week is the toughest. But once you have gotten used to the daily routine here, you will fit in." Auggie looked incredulous and asked "Do you think that I am in the right place here?" "Yes, I think so" Emily answered and she added" I got something for you."What could that be? Auggie thought and then he heard Emily putting something on the table. He slowly felt for the table and let his hand slide across the surface. The first thing he felt was a watch. What was he going to do with a watch? He could not read the time. And then he touched something that felt like a bundle of short metal tubes. One of the tubes seemed to have a rubber surface and there was also a short string. First Auggie was a bit confused but then it dawned on him. This was a cane, a folding cane for the blind. He did not want a cane. He wanted his eyesight back. Emily had seen Auggie´s shocked expression and explained "These two things will help you to get around" "What is this watch for?" Auggie asked "I cannot read the time" "It is a special watch" Emily said "Just press the little button on the right and a voice will tell you what time it is. And as you have probably guessed, the other thing is a cane. Tomorrow you will have the first mobility lesson and you will see how helpful this little tool can be."


	2. Chapter 2

Auggie and the way into the dark part 2

Auggie had finished breakfast and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Shortly after, he heard someone come in. A few seconds later Emily entered the room and peeked through the bathroom door. "When you´re done I would like you to follow me." She said. Auggie rinsed his mouth, and washed the toothpaste off his lips before he dried them with a towel and walked out of the bathroom. He took the cane, Emily had given him the day before from the bed and made his way to the door where Emily was waiting for him. He hated the idea to walk around with a white cane but he had no choice if he did not want to depend on others for the rest of his life.

Emily took him to a therapy room a few doors down the hall. "Unfold the cane" she said when they arrived. A bit clumsy Auggie untied the string that kept the units of the cane together and the cane pieces unfolded with a snap. "You have never been to this room before, try to explore it with your cane and tell me what you find." Emily instructed him. Auggie hesitated, he was scared, he did not dare to walk just into the blue or more precisely into the dark without knowing what was expecting him. Emily looked at him guessing what was going on and tried to encourage him "Don´t be afraid. Nothing can happen to you, give it a try." Auggie swallowed and the he started sweeping the cane in front of him and took his first steps. After a few metres his cane hit a chair. He extended the other hand and felt for the chair. Next to the chair he found a table. "I have found a chair and a table" he said. "Good, continue walking" Emily said. Again, Auggie swept his cane back and forth and finally hit the wall of the room. He extended his hand, trailed it along the wall and discovered a wash basin.

"Now that you have found the wash basin you will surely find the soap dispenser and the paper towel dispenser, too" Emily said. And then Auggie felt for the two objects and found them to the left and to the right of the wash basin. He turned his head a bit and felt the warm rays of the sun on his skin. "There must be the window" Auggie said and pointed into the direction with his cane" "Well done" Emily said. "You see, how much information you can get from the other senses. A faint smile played around Auggie´s mouth" I don´t know whether I deserve so much praise" he said and made his way back to Emily. "And what´s next?" he added when he stood beside her. "I would like to show you a variety of cane techniques" Emily explained. Let´s go out and I will show you what I am talking about.

Out on the corridor Emily said. "When you walk, your cane sweeps to the right when the left foot steps forward and when the right foot steps forward you sweep the cane to the left. I want you to try that right now." Auggie had listened carefully and took a few steps forward. "Good, you are a quick study and now I will show you how to count stairs with your cane." Emily brushed the back of Auggie´s hand with her hand and he grabbed her arm. Then she took him to the staircase and said "Hold your cane in a vertical position to find the first step. Keep holding the cane in the same position while we are climbing the stairs and you will notice when the next step comes." Auggied did what he was told and he realized how helpful this technique was. After an hour Emily said "This should be enough for today, but if you like, you can practice with the cane a bit in your room to get the hang of it."

When Auggie returned to his room he pressed the talk button of his watch and heard "It is 11:30 a.m." In half an hour, lunch would be served. He was hungry and was looking forward to the meal. The cane exercises had not been easy but for the first time in weeks he felt a bit more self confident. Should it be possible for him to get around with the help of a cane from now on? He was still a bit incredulous and scared but maybe these feelings would subside in a while. He was still musing when he heard Emily come into the room. "Lunchtime" she called "Take your cane and follow me" For the first time Auggie made his way to the dining room. The days before he had been served in his room. But now he was supposed to find the way with the cane. Auggie closed the door of his room behind him and Emily said " 50 steps, the 5th door on your right and you will reach the dining room.

Auggie started counting his steps and then he stopped. He turned slightly to the right and found the door with his white cane. The scent of chicken and French fries greeted him. "Perfect" Emily said "Like I said before , you´re a quick study" and then she led him to a free table and placed his palm onto the back of a chair. Auggie took a seat and half a minute later Emily returned with a tray. "Chicken at 12, French fries at 5 and peas at 3 she informed him, before she left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Auggie and the way into the dark part 3

Auggie stood next to reception desk in the hall, waiting for Emily. This would be his first field trip and he was nervous. He had spent 5 weeks in a hospital and his second week at the rehab facility had just begun. He had not been out for more than 6 weeks and it was his first field trip as a blind man. After two minutes Auggie heard footsteps approaching and then the voice of Emily "Hey, good morning. I hope you had a good night" Auggie turned into the direction of Emily´s voice and she offered him her arm. "Ready for a field trip?" she asked and Auggie nodded although he was rather insecure what was expecting him. He had learned to move around the building with his cane within the past week but going out was something entirely different. At the centre he felt protected and almost everyone knew him but the world outside was not made for people with visual disabilities.

Auggie grabbed Emily´s arm and they left the building. After a short walk along the sidewalk Emily said "Next to us there is a traffic light. Let go of my arm and try to find the curb with your cane." Auggie swept his cane a bit to the right and found the curb. "Listen to the sound of the cars and to the sound of the traffic light. When the lights are green you will hear a buzzing sound. That is the sign that you can start walking." Seconds later Auggie heard a buzzing sound and Emily instructed " feel for the curb again and start walking. I will be right next to you." Auggie found the curb and took a few steps forward. His heart was beating like a hammer in his chest. He was scared to walk right into the dark nothingness before him and almost stopped in the middle of the street. Emily had watched him and said."Keep on walking, I am by your side." When Auggie reached the other side of the street he almost stumbled over the curb. He was sweating and his heart was still racing. "Well done!" Emily said and touched Auggie´s arm in an attempt to calm him a bit. She had realized that he was sweating and slightly trembling. "I don´t know whether I can do that again." Auggie said. "It is so scary to walk and to cross a street without seeing. The noises and voices around distract me, too." "This is your first day out, what did you expect?" Emily replied "I have seen hundreds of people who showed just the same reaction. You don´t have to feel embarrassed or ashamed. This is a completely normal reaction. But in the course of time you will learn how to get around with your cane. It is just a matter of time and practice."

Throughout the week Auggie had a field trip every day. He learned the way to the supermarket, to the bank, to the hair dresser and to the pharmacy. And with each trip he became more and more confident. On Friday afternoon Emily said " How do you feel after this week?" Auggie hesitated a bit before he replied "Well, at first I was pretty scared but as you said before, I regained a bit of confidence with each trip and I feel that I can regain a part of my former mobility as well."

On Saturday morning, when Auggie was on his way back to his room after breakfast, Sandra, one of the other instructors of the centre, approached and said "Mr. Anderson there is a visitor for you." Auggie was surprised. Who could that be? He did not expect anyone. His brothers were all busy and had no time to visit him and his parents were still on their Europe trip. He made his way to the reception desk and was greeted by a familiar voice "Hello Auggie I have been looking for you for weeks. I am glad I have found you now." That was the voice of Erin, the girl he had been dating before he went to Iraq. Auggie was surprised, even a bit shocked. Erin was the last person he had expected to visit him. "Erin? " he said and looked into her general direction with an incredulous expression on his face. "What are you doing here and how did you find me?" Erin stared a bit. Auggie looked just like before. Like on that day when they had said goodbye before he went to Iraq. A white shirt covered his broad shoulders and his brown hair curled slightly around his neck and on his forehead. However, the expression of his eyes made him look different. He looked into her general direction but it was clearly visible, that he could not see her. Auggie and Erin both started feeling a bit awkward. He, because he had not expected her and she, because she had never been around a blind person let alone around a blind friend before."Would you like to accompany me to my room?" Auggie asked and ended the awkward silence. "Yes" Erin replied and then Auggie started to walk, using his cane for orientation.

After a while he stopped, turned to the right, let his cane trail along the wall to find the door and opened it."Come in" he said and folded his cane whilst making his way to the bed. He put the folded cane on the bed and sat down in the chair next to the window. "Take a seat." He said and Erin slowly moved a bit closer. She felt uncomfortable. Not only because they had not met for a while, but also because Auggie was blind now. Erin sat down on the other chair. She cleared her throat and started the conversation "I missed you Auggie. After you went to Iraq you sent me a few e-mails but then there was suddenly no response anymore to the e-mails I sent to you. I was worried and last week I called your brother David. He told me what happened and that you were here now. I miss you Auggie and after I heard what happened to you I wanted to see how you are doing." "It is very nice of you to come" Auggie said. And then he continued "But as you see, I am not the person I was before. I have to start from scratch with my life because the explosion has left me a souvenir and then he waved his hands in front of his eyes.

" Would you like to go for a walk?" Auggie asked. He needed a bit of fresh air and a walk through the park would be just right. "Yeah, why not" Erin replied. Auggie stood, walked over to the bed, felt for his cane, grabbed it and made his way to the door. Erin followed him. Closing the door behind him, Auggie unfolded his cane with a quick movement. Erin watched him and asked "Do you need help?" Auggie turned towards her and answered " Here on familiar ground I feel pretty comfortable. But if you would like to offer me your arm to guide me I would appreciate it." "Okay let´s do that." Erin said but the tone showed Auggie that she felt a bit insecure. Therefore he added. "I will take your arm right above the elbow. You need to walk half a step ahead of me. This way I will notice when you change the direction or when we approach stairs. Touch the back of my hand with yours to let me know where your arm is and I will grab it."

Two minutes later Auggie and Erin strolled through the park. Auggie enjoyed the sunshine on his face, the chirping birds in the trees and the sound of rustling leaves in the wind. After a while Erin asked. "Would you like to sit down? There is a bench over there." "Over there?" Auggie asked and added "Over there does not ring any bells. You have to be a bit more precise." "Yes of course" Erin was a bit embarrassed she had to get used to the fact that visual cues did not work for Auggie anymore. Therefore she said "The bench is about 5 steps to the right." Auggie smiled and said "That a girl!" He found the bench with his cane, felt for the seat and sat down. "How long do you have to stay here?" Erin asked as she had taken a seat next to Auggie "Don´t know yet. This is just my second week here and there is still a lot to learn for me. The most important thing for me will be Braille class. I want to be able to read and write again. But it will take some time to get the hang of it. And then, I will also have to learn some basic things to get around a kitchen without burning or cutting myself." Erin smiled and said "Sounds like a lot of work to me." "Yeah, to me too" Auggie replied. "But I need to learn all that to regain a bit of my independence. My cane skills are pretty good already." He said and waved with the folded cane in his hand. Half an hour later Auggie and Erin returned. When they reached the door of Auggie´s room, Erin asked "Would you like to see me again?" And then she blushed and said "Ah…I mean….do you want me to come back?" Auggie tried to meet her gaze by turning into her direction and said with a smile "Yes, I would like to SEE you again! And by the way you don't have to avoid words like look, see, watch and so on just because I am blind. I also use these words although seeing for me takes places in a different way these days."

Erin placed a kiss on Auggie´s cheek and walked away. Auggie stood there for a few seconds more musing what had just happened. Did he really want to see her again? In fact he did, but he was also scared how a relationship might work. He had already had a couple of relationships including Natasha the Russian computer hacker. But he had not been blind. Now, being with somebody meant, that the partner had to adapt to the circumstances, too. When living with a blind person it was crucial, not to change anything in their environment and of course Auggie needed some help when he went to unknown places. Could Erin deal with all of that? Auggie was not sure.

Two days later

It was Monday morning and Auggie sat in a classroom. He felt like he was going back to the time when he was in the first grade of elementary school. David, the instructor had explained to the class how the Braille six-dot system worked and now they were all supposed to decipher the first Braille letters with their fingertips. Auggie slid his fingers across the page, trying to decipher the first letters. Oh my God he thought. This was really hard work. Would he ever be able to memorize all the different combinations of dots and would his fingers ever become sensitive enough to read all the different letters? David, who was one of the blind instructors at the centre said, that it was only a question of diligence and time to learn Braille and Auggie was determined to give his best to get the hang of it. Now, every evening after dinner, he spent an hour with his Braille books. He wanted to read and write as soon as possible and maybe he could find a job, too.

Auggie was just sitting at his table trying to write down a few words in Braille with his stylus and Braille slate when his cell phone rang. With his right hand slightly extended he walked over to the nightstand and grabbed the phone. "Hey Auggie , how is it going?" That was the voice of Erin. She had not visited him for a while and wanted to talk to him now. "Hi Erin" Auggie said "Nice to hear your voice again." "In fact I am calling because I wanted to ask you something." Erin began "I have not been out for a while and I would love to go to my favourite Italian restaurant again. And I thought it would be nice if you could come with me." Auggie listened to her and hesitated. Then he said "Well….I´d love to come with you. But are you really sure that you want to do that? I mean…you know that I cannot see anymore and to be honest I am a bit scared to be out in public for the first time. I am afraid I might still be a bit too clumsy and I don´t want to make a fool of myself let alone to embarrass you." "Oh come on Auggie" Erin said in an encouraging tone "How would you embarrass me?" I will guide you and let you know what is going on around us. Sooner or later you will have to do that. You cannot avoid public places for the rest of your life because you are blind now." "Maybe you´re right" Auggie said. "Okay! When do you want to pick me up ? " Erin smiled and said "That a boy! I will pick you up on Friday evening at 8:00 and I assure you we will have fun." Auggie ended the call. He would have to buy a new phone, too. Right now he could receive calls but he could not dial a number himself. The touch screen of his cell phone was not accessible for blind people and he always needed someone to dial the number for him or to compose a text message for him. A cell phone with speech control and with a talking phone menu would be next on his shopping list. This list was getting longer and longer since many things now needed to be adapted to his disability. He needed a Braille watch, a talking alarm clock, tactile dots on stove; microwave and washing machine, a talking scale and a number of other gadgets when he wanted to live independently. On the other hand he had always been a tech-guy. He was fascinated by technology and so he was somehow looking forward to trying all these different things.


	4. Chapter 4

Auggie and the Way into the dark 4

Auggie had spent a wonderful evening with Erin. She had taken him to an Italian restaurant in town and he was surprised how well she took care of him. She had led him to the table, had placed his hand on the back of the chair and had described the environment to him. They had ordered Pasta and some salad. Auggie had opted for some Tortellini and Erin had Spaghetti Carbonara. Tortellini were much easier to eat for him than Spaghetti. Even for sighted people it was sometimes a problem to twirl the Spaghettis around the fork so he decided for some Tortellini with ham and cream sauce.

Whilst eating Auggie and Erin were chatting and for a while Auggie managed to forget his handicap because he was so focused on his meal and the conversation with Erin. At 10:00 pm Erin had taken him back to the centre because the institution closed its doors at 10:00 pm. For the first time in a while Auggie was relaxed and had the feeling that his life was worth living again. He had gone out, he had not embarrassed himself as he had feared before and he had enjoyed the evening. But there was still a long way to go for him, before he could live independently again.

The next morning Auggie sat in Braille class and was just typing on his Perkins Braillewriter when his neighbour to the left nudged him. "Hey Auggie, I heard you went out on a date yesterday? Did you have a good time?" How do you know that Jerry? " Auggie asked. "Well….my wife visited me and she saw you leave with a beautiful brunette. Wanna tell me who it was?" Auggie smirked and replied "Nope." and continued typing. Typing Braille letters was not so easy. It involved pressing one, two , three or even more keys at a time to create a number or a letter. It took some time to learn all the different combinations but Auggie started to get the hang of it. Later, he would also attend computer class. The instructors at the centre would teach him how to work with a Braille keyboard and with the speech control of a computer. Being a computer geek and a Nerd, he was definitely looking forward to these lessons even if it was not the same for him because he could not see the screen anymore.

The time passed and Auggie regained more and more of his former self confidence. He had started to take walks alone using his cane for orientation. He often went to the park and sometimes he made his way to the café close-by for a cappuccino or some ice-cream. At the centre they had shown him how to fold his banknotes. Folding his money in different sizes, made it possible, to distinguish the banknotes in his wallet when paying at a shop or a restaurant. Erin had watched him at the Italian restaurant wondering how he knew which banknote he held in his hand when he had paid the meal. Sometimes Auggie could not believe how quickly he had adapted to walking with a cane. At the beginning, he had been quite reluctant. He had felt ashamed because the white cane drew attention to him and his visual disability. But then ,he had learned that being independent was only possible, when he accepted this little tool as a friend that helped him to get around.

Auggie swept his cane back and forth clearing the way before him. He had reached the traffic light, listened for the sound and crossed the street. He wanted to go to the department store to get a new mobile phone. He counted his steps, found the door and entered the shop. Cautiously he walked through the shop. He knew that electrical appliances and phones were sold on the ground floor. Shortly after, he heard a voice say. "Sir, can I help you?" "Yes" he replied. I am actually looking for a new mobile phone and I could use some help to find the right department." "Do you want me to take you there? " The friendly shop assistant asked. "That would be very kind of you" Auggie replied with a smile. When the young lady took Auggie´s arm and he said "I would prefer to take your arm when you are guiding me" And then he grabbed her elbow and had her lead the way. Arriving in the right department, the shop assistant called a colleague and left. The young man looked a bit confused when he saw Auggie leaning on his cane but then he asked "How can I help you Sir?" Auggie turned into the direction of the voice and said "Well…I am actually looking for a new mobile phone. It should be accessible for people with visual disabilities and should therefore have speech control and a talking menu." "Okay" the shop assistant said". Would you like to wait here until I get back with a few phone models?" "With pleasure" Auggie replied and opened the lid of his watch to check the time. Lunch was in an hour. So he had enough time to make a choice. Shortly after, the shop assistant returned with three different phone models. He started the phones to let Auggie check the accessibility for him. The first phone had a talking menu but the speech quality was really bad he could barely understand the voice, the second phone was too expensive but the third met Auggie´s demands. It had an easily palpable home button below the screen, a talking menu and a number of other interesting features such as radio and MP3 music player. Auggie paid the phone and made his way home. He was proud. He had done his first shopping without help and he finally had a phone, that made it possible for him to make calls without assistance.

Half an hour later he arrived at the centre. He put the plug of the phone into the socket to recharge the battery. For the first steps of installation he would need someone to read the manual to him but once installed accordingly, he would be able to use the phone without help. After lunch Emily had offered him her assistance. Auggie grabbed his old mobile phone and Emily checked all the numbers of his contact list and typed them into the new phone. Reading the manual to him, she showed Auggie how to get around the menu. She activated the speech control and the talkback-function and had Auggie explore the menu. Auggie slid his fingertips across the screen and listened to the voice that informed him of all menu contents. He moved his finger to the left and heard "phone settings" then he slid a bit further to the left and heard "text message". He opened "text message" and a voice asked him "who do you want to write to?" Auggie said a name and the voice continued "What is your message?" Auggie dictated a text and finally he heard "Do you want to send the message now?" Auggie answered "send message" and the phone replied "message was sent". Auggie was delighted. He finally could send text messages without help and the phone also read incoming messages to him. He could also alter a variety of settings by using the voice control of his phone.

A week later

Auggie sat at a computer desk for the first time in months. James, the instructor had explained to the group how to use a Braille keyboard and how to work with different shortcuts to access the menu of the computer. Auggie had listened carefully and tried now to open his e-mail account. It would take some time to memorize all the shortcuts for navigating the menu and the internet but he had a list and from time to time he would slide his fingers across the Braille pages searching for the right shortcut. He had missed working with a computer in the past 2 months. But this was finally a way to get back to working with a computer again and maybe also a possibility to find a job later. He just needed some time to get acquainted with everything. He added a Braille keyboard to his shopping list although these did not come cheap.


	5. Chapter 5

Auggie and the way into the dark 5

Auggie had made progress when it came to his computer skills. He had spent a lot of time in the computer room checking out new programs and he had gotten better and better. In the meantime he could efficiently read with his fingertips when sliding across the Braille keyboard and he had fun surfing the internet for all kind of information. He would soon leave the centre and was just looking for an own flat. With the help of the instructors of the centre he would make it blind proof so to speak. There were a couple of items he had to purchase before moving in.

Auggie folded his cane and put it on the nightstand. This little tool had become his steady companion and he never went out without it. He had just returned from a visit to the gym. He had resumed his fitness training and his work outs. The gym was not far from the centre and easy to find for him. Auggie had just showered and was getting dressed again when his cell phone rang "Erin calling, Erin calling" the phone announced and Auggie grabbed it and took the call."Hey Auggie, what have you been up to today?" Erin´s voice sounded through the phone. "I just got back from the gym" Auggie replied. "Wanna pay me a visit?" "How did you guess?" Erin was surprised. "Yes, I wanted to ask if you´re up for a beer tonight?" "Yeah" Auggie was excited. He could almost not remember the last time he went to a pub."I am gonna pick you up at 8:30 tonight. Is that okay?" "Done" Auggie answered and ended the call.

Erin arrived in her car. Auggie had been waiting for her at the entrance and when he heard her honking horn, he made his way towards the sound of the car. He found the door handle, folded his cane and got in. Erin looked at Auggie. He had changed. Although he was still the same guy with brown hair, hazelnut-brown eyes and broad shoulders, he looked different. He seemed more relaxed, more self confident and more contented. When she had seen him walking towards her car, she would not have guessed that he was blind if he had not had that white cane in his hands. He seemed to have adapted to his disability within the last months. He looked happier than before. "So, how is it going Auggie?" Erin started the conversation. "Well, I have made a lot of progress within the last two months and I am currently about to set up my own apartment." I will leave the centre in two weeks. By then everything should be ready. Five minutes after, they arrived at the pub. Auggie unfolded his cane, took Erin´s elbow and they entered the pub. After the first beer and some snacks in between Erin said "Auggie I have to tell you something. My company is setting up a new branch in Mexico. As you know I am quite fluent in Spanish and so they have asked me to work for the Mexican subsidiary. I will be moving to Acapulco in 6 weeks" Auggie tilted his head into her direction and asked "Have you thought that through?" Erin smiled "Yes I did and there are a couple of perks, too. I will have an apartment that is paid by the company and a company car." "So this is good bye?" Auggie asked. "Yeah, I think so. I will not find time to visit you again with all the preparations to be made, I am sorry."

"It is okay" Auggie said. He would be busy, too. He had to find a new job and that would be the top priority in the coming weeks. And then he added "Although I would have loved it, to spend more time with you." Erin´s eyes were getting wet and she attempted a smile when she said "I would have loved to be with you, too but this is a perfect opportunity for me to climb the career ladder." " I got that" Auggie answered and then he said "My treat today, you are invited".

Two weeks after

Auggie opened the door and entered the room. With his cane he made a few steps forward whilst trailing behind his suitcase on wheels with the other hand. This was his new apartment The time at the rehab centre was now over and a new life began, a life as a blind man. He thought by himself. During the time at the centre, he had been protected and there had always been someone to help with daily tasks. This however, was "the real life" he had to prove to himself and to others that he could make it as a blind man. He had been here a couple of times when he had furnished the apartment but he was still on new ground He would need some time to become acquainted with everything. Tomorrow Emily would come over and would show him the surroundings.

Auggie touched the button of his talking alarm clock "It is 7:30 a.m." a voice announced and he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He counted his steps and went to take a shower. In about an hour Emily would be here and he wanted to have breakfast before. This was the first time in months that he had to prepare breakfast and the first time that he had to do it blind. He walked over to the kitchen sink, opened the faucet and filled some water into a cup. He filled the cup content into the water tank of the coffee maker, added a spoonful of coffee and pressed the start button. There was nothing in the fridge, at least not yet but he had some cookies and a banana. That should be enough until he had done some shopping.

Auggie had just finished his coffee when he heard a knock on the door. He cautiously made his way to the door and almost stumbled over the armchair next to his couch. "Good Morning Auggie" Emily greeted him with a smile. "Hey Emily, nice to see you again" he smirked. "How was your first night in your own flat?" Emily asked "Well, I slept like a baby. I was so tired" Auggie admitted. "I think the first thing we should do is find the supermarket. I am hungry and the fridge is still empty." "All right, let´s go." Auggie took his folded cane from the kitchen table unfurled it and they left. He did not take Emily´s arm. Instead he walked next to her listening to her instructions when she described to him the shops and facilities in the neighbourhood. After five minutes they reached a supermarket. Now Auggie preferred to take Emily´s arm to have her guide him. He had counted the steps and memorized the way. Now Emily took a shopping cart and Auggie told her what he needed to buy. Cheese, ham, butter, noodles, strawberry jam, tomato sauce, frozen pizza, fruit, toast and some milk went into the shopping cart. On their way back, Emily described him the way to the bakery, to the pharmacy, the hair dresser and the book store. Auggie had started to appreciate audio books and those were also available in a regular book store.

After an hour they returned to Auggie´s apartment and he started to unpack his groceries. Emily watched him and said. "I am proud of you, you have really learned a lot. I watched you move around your kitchen and I have to admit that only little things give away that you cannot see. I am sure you will get around on your own from now on." Auggie smiled into her direction and said "thanks for the flowers" "You´re welcome Auggie and by the way, You looked also very self confident when walking next to me with your cane. Compared to your first field trips with me this is a huge difference." Shortly after Emily left and said to him "I wish you all the best for your new life and lease remember, should you need some advice, you got my cell phone number. Just give me a call and I will see what I can do for you" "Thank you so much" Auggie walked towards Emily, found her shoulder and hugged her. During the 4 months at the centre they had also become friends and therefore Auggie admitted now " I am so grateful for all your support. I don´t know what I had done without you.

You have taught me so much and I guess I am now prepared for a new life without seeing." Emily returned the hug and then she left. She was glad, that Auggie could not see the tears in her eyes because she had come to like him a lot.


	6. Chapter 6

Within the last 4 weeks Auggie had become well acquainted with his surroundings but the search for a new job was still difficult. As soon as someone heard that he had a disability his request for a job interview was rejected. That was frustrating and discouraging. And one day even his newly acquired self confidence as a blind man was shaken. He had just bought a new audio book at the book shop and was leaving, when suddenly a rude young man on a bike approached. He was riding on the pavement. That was not only forbidden, he was also too fast. Auggie was about to step out of the door onto the pavement when he was run over by that bike. He lost his balance and found himself sitting on his butt. He was a bit shocked because he had not seen that coming. The young man with the bike did not care about Auggie, he just continued riding and disappeared.

The worst of all was that his cane was broken. The young man with the bike had just ridden over the cane and that had caused the cane to break into two pieces. Auggie got up, felt on the ground for the cane and noticed that he could not use it anymore. He would have been able to find the way home, that was not the main problem, but he would not be aware of any obstacles without a cane in his hand.

Had he refused to use a cane about half a year ago during his first days in rehab, he was now devastated by the idea to renounce to the cane. He finally realized how much his personal mobility and independence depended on this helpful tool. What now? He thought. He could call a taxi and go home but what then? He had no spare cane at home and if he wanted to go out the next day, he would be pretty lost. So he decided to call a taxi and have the driver take him to the Lighthouse for the Blind in town. There, he would be able to get a new cane and maybe even a spare cane for cases like this. Auggie collected the broken cane, put it into his messenger bag and fished his phone out of his pocket. He dialed the number of the taxi company he frequently used and waited for the car to arrive.

Five minutes later a taxi stopped and the helpful driver, who already knew Auggie, helped him into the car. Ten minutes later they arrived at the Lighthouse for the Blind. The taxi driver accompanied Auggie to the building and Auggie asked him to wait. After 15 minutes Auggie emerged sweeping a brand-new cane in front of him and with a spare cane in his bag. He was relieved that he had been able to solve the problem so fast. Arriving at home, he checked the mailbox and found a letter. In his apartment he started the document reader and put the letter on the scanner. And then he was surprised when he heard where the letter was from .

"**Dear Mr. Anderson,**

**As we have learned, your rehabilitation process was concluded a few weeks ago. We would like to invite you for a personal interview at the DCI office to discuss your professional future at the CIA".**

**Please present yourself at the DCI office on October 3****rd**** at 2:00 p.m. Should you wish to arrange for an appointment at a different time please let us know.**

**Best regards**

**Arthur Campbell "**

Auggie was surprised. He had been oblivious of the fact that he was still a CIA member even if he was blind now. It was CIA policy not to dismiss operatives when they were sick. Only when the rehabilitation process was concluded the CIA would discuss the professional future and whether an operative could go to the field again or take over another job in a different department. Auggie was nervous and excited. Was there still a chance for him to get back to Langley? Of course he knew that he could not go out on a mission anymore but maybe there would be a chance for another job in a different department.

**A week later**

Auggie had called a taxi and was waiting for the car to arrive. He had chosen a grey suit, a light-blue shirt and a dark-blue tie for this occasion. He opened the lid of his Braille watch and checked the time. The taxi should arrive any minute. A moment later he heard a car stop and heard the driver called his name "Taxi for Mr. Anderson" Auggie made his way towards the sound of the car engine, found the back door and settled into the back seat. He was nervous because he had no idea how the interview with Arthur Campbell would turn out. Up till now he had worked closely with Joan, Arthur´s wife and he had not even been to the DCI office before. He would need some help to get there when arriving in Langley.

Fifteen minutes later Auggie arrived. He paid the driver and asked him to come back in an hour and a half to pick him up again. Auggie swept his cane and found the main entrance. It was strange to come back to a place he knew so well without seeing it. He found the elevator and heard that someone was standing next to him. "May I ask you to help me?" Auggie said "Of course" the young lady replied "Do you know how to get to Mr. Campbell´s office?" The lady smiled and said "Yeah, I know where that is." And then she offered "Do you want to take my arm?" and touched the back of his hand with hers. Auggie looked puzzled and the young lady realized that because then she explained "my Dad is blind, I am a bit acquainted with the needs of blind people."

In the elevator the young lady said "May I ask you something Sir?" Auggie turned towards her voice and replied "Yes" and then the lady continued " Are you the Special Ops soldier that was blinded in Iraq and who was the only one to survive an IED attack?" Auggie swallowed because the question had brought back memories and then he said "Yes, that would be me, but how do you know that?" "Well, this news spread immediately after the attack and Langley was shocked about having a traitor in its own unit without knowing. Nasir however is still on the run and cannot be traced" and then she added "By the way my name is Betty Nichols." Arriving on the 7th floor Auggie took Betty´s arm again and she led him to the office of Arthur Campbell. Auggie counted the steps to make sure he would find the way back without assistance. "Thanks Betty" he smiled before he knocked on the door of the DCI office. "Come in" Arthur Campbell called and Auggie swept his cane searching for obstacles in the room. Arthur got up from his leather office chair and led Auggie to a chair. He was also a bit nervous because he had never been around a blind person before.

" It was nice of you to come Mr. Anderson" Arthur started. "I would like to discuss your professional future at the CIA with you. Given the special circumstances and your….your…." Arthur hesitated a bit "your…. visual disability… it is out of question that you can resume your job as a field operative" Auggie had listened and tilted now his head into Arthur´s direction.

"Of course I am completely aware of the fact that I cannot be in the field anymore" Auggie answered. And then he added "By the way Mr. Campbell you may also use the term BLIND because that is what I am now." Arthur had watched Auggie with curiosity. Knowing that he was blind was one thing, but realizing that he did not make eye contact for his lack of vision was something else. It was an awkward feeling for Arthur. He had to get used to that. "I have been thinking about how to incorporate you again into our team" Arthur started "And what is your conclusion?" Auggie asked with curiosity in his voice. "Well… I thought you might try to work as the head of the Tech Ops office. I heard that your Braille skills are pretty good right now and that you have learned to manage a computer with special equipment. In addition, your knowledge of field operations and technology is extremely valuable for us. You would be the perfect candidate for that job." Auggie had listened carefully and was astounded about that offer. "I really appreciate your offer" he replied " And I would be glad to take over that position. You can be assured, that I will give my very best not to disappoint you." And then Auggie added "How do you know about my Braille and computer skills?" Arthur smiled and said "Remember you are at the CIA and we have a file on everyone." Now Auggie smiled as well and said "Of course, how could I forget about that".

"Welcome back to the CIA Mr. Anderson" Arthur said and extended his hand but then he remembered that Auggie could not see that. Instead he said "Maybe you can tell my now what kind of adaptive equipment you need for your office." Auggie hesitated for a while thinking about all the details he needed and then he answered "I need a document reader, a Braille printer, a computer with a speech control program, a Braille keyboard, Braille paper for the printer, a phone with larger keys and headphones. I would also appreciate a round desk to minimize the risk for injuries and there should not be any cables or wires I might accidentally trip over in my office.

"Done" Arthur replied. I will take care of it and in about a month everything should be installed and prepared accordingly. Auggie rose from his seat and extended his hand. Arthur took it and reciprocated with a firm handshake. Auggie opened his cane, tapped it on the floor to make sure that the cane elements were firmly locked and made his way to the door. Then he turned again and said "Thanks again Mr. Campbell to give me that chance." That could not have gone better Auggie thought when he sat in the back seat of the taxi on his way home. He finally had a job and he was still a member of the CIA.


	7. Chapter 7

Arthur had ordered the equipment Auggie needed and had instructed Joan to set up an office for Auggie that was easily accessible and that matched the demands of his disability. Three weeks later the equipment had been delivered and installed and the new office waited for its new owner and the inauguration.

On his first day in Langley or more precisely on his first day as a blind man in Langley, Joan had welcomed him. She had been waiting by the entrance when Auggie arrived with a taxi. Auggie got out of the back of the car, unfolded his cane, tapped it on the ground to lock the parts firmly and made his way to the door. "Welcome back Auggie" he heard the voice of Joan and it took him by surprise. He had not expected that someone might be waiting for him outside the building "Hey Joan" Auggie turned towards the voice and smiled. "I thought it might be a good idea to welcome you right here. The DPD moved into a new building three days ago and I thought it would be easier for you if I took you there instead of having you search for the right wa.y" Joan said and Auggie replied "That is very kind of you. I appreciate that". And then he took Joan´s arm and let her lead the way. He was curious what his new office would be like, an office he would never see.

Auggie felt his way around his new office. Three steps from the desk to the printer, five steps from the glass desk to the door, four steps from the desk to the shelves on the wall behind him and five steps from the desk to the window on his right. Now he had a mental picture of his environment but he was still a bit insecure how he would manage daily tasks without sight. He had adapted as far as possible to his disability in the past 8 months but going to work again and having to function in a sighted world was something entirely different. Auggie felt for the desk drawer, folded his cane, put it into the top drawer and booted the computer. He took a seat, searched for the headphones with his right hand and seconds later he heard a voice announce that the computer was now ready. Auggie typed a few words on his keyboard and slid his fingers across the Braille line. The first thing he wanted to do was to create a new e-mail account.

**3 months later**

Auggie had quickly become acquainted with the new DPD building and he had been able to prove that he was still a skilled member of the CIA even without being able to see. His old and new colleagues appreciated him and treated him like anyone else. And that was exactly what he needed.

Auggie sat at his desk, typing a letter whilst listening to the computer voice that came through his headphones, when his phone rang. He slid the headphones down to his neck, felt for the receiver and picked it up "Anderson DPD" he said and heard Joan´s voice on the other end of the line "Hello Auggie, I would like you to come over to my office, I have a special task for you and I would appreciate it if you could come straight away." Auggie was curious. What might Joan want? He opened the drawer of his desk, fished his cane out, unfurled it and walked to Joan´s office. Two minutes later he knocked on the office door. "Come in" Joan called and the scent of a perfume told him that someone else was in the room, too. He knew Joan´s perfume and that other scent was completely new to him. Auggie swept his cane, finding his way to Joan´s desk and Joan introduced him "Auggie this is Annie Walker. She is one of our new operatives and I would appreciate it if you could show her around and explain to her what we expect from our agents." Annie rose from her seat and extended her hand. "Annie Walker, nice to meet you" she said. But then she realized that Auggie could not see her hand. Annie was blond, slim and had blue eyes. She was not very tall but in good shape because she went to the gym a lot and loved to go jogging. Auggie turned his head towards her voice and now he extended his right hand that had rested on top of his cane and said "My name is August Anderson, welcome to Langley Miss Walker" Annie reciprocated with a firm handshake and Auggie said "I would love to show you around now. Would you please follow me" And then he turned towards the door sweeping his cane in front of him and Annie followed right behind.


End file.
